Out of Our Time
by The Girl Dragons
Summary: When 3 girls travel to Middle Earth, they think it's all a dream. But they soon find out that it's reality. Frodo!
1. Default Chapter

Notes: This is our first LOTR fanfic. The people in this story are all real, except for the characters owned by JRR Tolkien. I must warn you, we are all Frodo crazy.  
  
_Man, this class is so boring  
  
Can you believe we have to watch a boring biography on the Civil War?  
  
Yeah, totally.  
  
This sucks...big time.  
  
Dude, I'm falling asleep, so I'll stop writing notes to you.  
  
Dude, so am I.  
  
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!  
_  
"Woah, where am I dude, this is kinda freaky," Mandy commented, "I mean, it's like pretty here." Mandy was 5 foot 3 with short, straight black hair and dark brown eyes. She was 16, just a year behind Hypes and Alley. She loves music and baggy jeans.  
  
"Woah, Mandy, what are you doing here," Alley exclaimed. She was the shortest of the group at 5 foot 2. She had light brown hair that ended a little above the shoulders and ice-blue eyes.  
  
"Last thing I remember I was sleeping in English," Hypes said. Hypes was the tallest at 6 foot. She had short, light brown hair and blue eyes. And obviously, from her nickname, she's hyper.  
  
"Do you feel different," Mandy asked.  
  
"Yeah, I feel shorter than usual," Alley agreed.  
  
"Does anybody have measuring tape," Hypes asked. Mandy and Alley glanced at Hypes strangely.  
  
"First we should try to figure out where we are," Mandy said, matter of factly, which was very rare for her.  
  
"Do you mean to tell me that you don't know where we are," Alley asked her.  
  
"Yeah, I mean, you're the one that's been all around the world right," Hypes questioned.  
  
"Hey, just because I went to Japan over the summer, doesn't mean I've been all around the world," Mandy told them.  
  
"Well that's farther than I've ever been," Hypes replied.  
  
Suddenly, Alley got a surprised look on her face, "Wait a second you guys, I know where we are."  
  
"What are you talking about," Mandy asked, "If I don't know where we are, how do you know where we are?"  
  
"Hello, just look around you," Alley said, "Don't you recognize this place?"  
  
"Yeah I recognize this place, but I don't know how we ended up in the zoo," Hypes answered.  
  
"You're pretty smart aren't you," Alley asked sarcastically, "We're in Middle Earth. Didn't you even read the books?"  
  
"What books," Hypes asked.  
  
"Duh, Lord of the Rings," Alley said, "Don't you even have a brain up there? Don't tell me it's full of hot air."  
  
"Oh yeah, I almost forgot," Hypes said, than paused, "I want a cookie!"  
  
"First you might want to think about finding civilization," Mandy pointed out.  
  
"Oh yeah huh," Hypes remarked, "I guess that could be a problem."  
  
"I wish I had not worn these boots," Mandy complained, "They cost me a fortune."  
  
"Why are you worrying about your stupid boots," Alley asked, "There could be orcs out there...or if you haven't noticed."  
  
"Well, they cost me a lot of money," Mandy remarked snobbishly, but you could tell that she was just joking.  
  
"Ow, my feet hurt," Hypes said as she took her foot off a rock.  
  
"I don't see how, they're so big and hairy," Mandy told her.  
  
"Hey, you should be talking, look at your own feet," Hypes said, "You're not even wearing boots."  
  
"Of course I am, just look at...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! My beautiful feet are now fat and ugly and hairy."  
  
"Oh no, we have hobbit's feet," Alley said, "Hypes, you shrank!"  
  
"I told you to lay off the caffeine," Mandy commented.  
  
"Hey cool, we're hobbits," Hypes exclaimed.  
  
"No way, we're too tall to be hobbits," Mandy said.  
  
"I still want a cookie," Hypes repeated.  
  
"Let's find somebody first," Alley said.  
  
"Watch out stupid," Mandy yelled as she grabbed Alley and pulled her to ground just as a group of people ran passed. Suddenly she realized that the wild crazymen were turning around.  
  
"You're calling me the stupid one," Alley asked, pointing over to Hypes, who was searching the ground.  
  
"I found a cookie," Hypes suddenly yelled, as she tried to bite into the object in her hands, "It's kinda stale though."  
  
"Hypes," Alley stated slowly, "That's a rock."  
  
"It did look kinda gray," Hypes said, "And it was kinda cold. And it did hurt when I dug it out of the ground."  
  
"What are you young hobbits doing in this part of the forest," a new voice asked. The three girls turned around slowly. They were shocked to see five very familiar figures.  
  
"Frodo," Mandy screamed at the top of her lungs as she ran, jumped into his arms and knocked him to the ground.  
  
"Mandy, get off of him," Alley said as she struggled to yank Mandy off of the stunned hobbit, "I don't think he's breathing!" Alley suddenly fell over, due to Hypes jumping on her and crashing into Frodo and Mandy.  
  
"We have no time to fool around," Aragorn stated, "Ringwraiths are following close behind us." He walked toward the pile of hobbits and one by one removed the girls from on top of Frodo. Mandy refused to let go however.  
  
"Oh don't be stupid," Alley stated as she slapped Mandy on top of the head, "I think he's turning blue...and plus, there'll be plenty more chances for you to hug Frodo." It took Alley, Hypes and Aragorn to pry her off of Frodo, who looked extremely grateful. 


	2. Attraction of the Worlds

Notes: Warning, we don't like Legolas. So, if you like him, please don't read. We all love Frodo and the other hobbits.  
  
As soon as he was freed, Frodo jumped up and ran behind Aragorn, hiding from the crazy girls that had appeared out of nowhere. The three girls looked hurt by this action. Mandy immediately fell to her knees and started crying quietly. Legolas appeared out of the bushes, with the rest of the fellowship following behind him.  
  
"See what you did stupid Legolas," Hypes shouted, pointing accusingly at the elf, who looked extremely confused.  
  
"What did I have to do with any of this," Legolas asked.  
  
"You know what you did," Hypes told him.  
  
"I apologize for my friend Legolas," Alley came in, "I know you haven't done anything...yet."  
  
"What tempts these girls to talk like that about you Legolas," Aragorn questioned.  
  
"I don't know. They're supposed to love me," Legolas complained.  
  
"Oh shut up elf," Hypes exclaimed.  
  
"These girls are evil," Legolas whispered over to the others.  
  
"Wait, before we get rid of them, let's hear them out," Merry and Pippin shouted out, looking interested in the new girls.  
  
"Who are you," Frodo asked, peeking out from behind Aragorn. He quickly ducked behind him again as they looked in his direction.  
  
"Awww, he's so cute," the three girls said together, causing Frodo to jump back in terror.  
  
"How do you know our names," Frodo asked in barely a whisper. The girls just smiled mysteriously, succeeding in frightening the hobbit even more. His grip on Aragorn's cloak tightened.  
  
"I'm Mandy," she yelled, trying to smother him once more. Alley and Hypes grabbed her before she could get very far however.  
  
"I'm Hypes and I want a cookie," she said, "Do you happen to have one with you?"  
  
"I'm Alley," the third girl said, waving a fist in Legolas' direction when he wasn't looking.  
  
"I'm Aragorn, but I think you already know that," he bowed towards the three girl hobbits.  
  
"Oh we know who you are," Alley remarked, "We know who all of you are." Frodo let out a muffled whimper from behind Aragorn. The three girls sighed and tilted their heads to look at Frodo.  
  
"They're out to kill the ringbearer," Legolas said.  
  
"I thought elves were supposed to be perfect," Hypes commented.  
  
"We are," Legolas boasted.  
  
"Then how come you're so stupid," Alley asked him. Legolas looked at her in complete shock. What hobbit in their right mind would dare call an elf stupid, especially when it was him?  
  
"Frodo, can I have your phone number," Mandy asked, "Or maybe your e-mail? Or screenname?"  
  
"What is this magic that you torture our minds with," Boromir questioned.  
  
"What are you talking about? Magic? You're crazier than I am," Hypes said.  
  
"Don't tempt me hobbit," Legolas said, placing an arrow into his bow.  
  
"You better not raise an arrow to my friend," Mandy said threatening, taking a daring step towards him, "Me and Alley are blackbelts in cheese fon-du."  
  
"Mandy, that's Kung-Fu," Alley corrected her.  
  
"I know that," Mandy whispered to her, "I was just.... testing you."  
  
"Sure you were," Alley said, rolling her eyes.  
  
Legolas' reply to this was to pull back on the arrow. Suddenly Mandy and Alley ran towards Legolas and started kicking him, while Hypes cheered them on.  
  
"Pull his girlish hair out," Hypes yelled out. Before Mandy and Alley could take her advice, Aragorn and Boromir came up behind the girls and lifted them into the air. Frodo quickly hid behind Sam as they came closer.  
  
While Aragorn was holding Alley, he noticed a silver chain around her neck, a familiar golden ring hanging from it. He grasped her tighter, "Where did you get that ring from?"  
  
"Hello, they're everywhere at the mall," Mandy told him.  
  
"Mall? What is that place," Aragorn asked.  
  
"Aragorn, don't be so dumb-witted," Alley shouted as she elbowed him.  
  
"Don't be so hasty, young hobbit," Aragorn told her, "You come from a different land than we do."  
  
"Hey, I'm not that young," Alley stated, "I'm 17...and I'm not a hobbit!"  
  
"17, you are nothing but an infant in the hobbit world," Legolas said. Alley turned to glare at him.  
  
"But I'm not a hobbit," Alley tried to explain.  
  
"You certainly do look like a hobbit," Legolas pointed out.  
  
"Just because I'm short with hairy feet, it does not mean that I'm a hobbit," Alley told him, struggling violently to get out of Aragorn's grip.  
  
Suddenly Hypes ran over to Boromir and started kicking his legs, "Let go of my friends." Boromir distractedly let go of Mandy to face Hypes. Immediately, Mandy ran over to help Alley. She jumped up to hit him , but kept on missing.  
  
"If we were normal height, you'd be on the ground crying by now," Mandy shouted up at him. Alley thrusted her arms back suddenly, throwing Aragorn off guard and causing him to drop her to the ground.  
  
Alley then ran over to Legolas and started to punch and kick him. She eventually jumped on him and he fell to the ground. Alley punched him in the eye and he immediately tried to shield his face. But it was too late, his eye was already swollen shut. She didn't stop until Pippin suddenly tackled Alley, knocking her off Legolas, who was grieving the injury of his beautiful face.  
  
"Get off me," Alley yelled at Pippin.  
  
"Please don't hurt me," Pippin begged of her.  
  
"Why would I hurt you," Alley asked him, "It's Legolas I dislike, not you."  
  
"Well I don't dislike you either," he told her.  
  
"Of course you don't, you don't know me," Alley explained.  
  
"Well maybe tomorrow we could have second breakfast together," he said.  
  
"That would be...great," Alley said, now forgetting all about Legolas. Suddenly they realized that everyone else was already far ahead and ran to catch up with them. Legolas was still lying on the ground, clutching his face. Alley 'accidentally' stepped on him as she walked passed. 


	3. Breakfast

Notes: I know last chapter I said not to read this if you are a Legolas fan, but I should have worded that differently. I should have said to not read it unless you have a sense of humor and don't mind us making fun of him. We don't hate Legolas, we just like Frodo better. Mandy says that she loves Frodo, which I'm sure you already knew, and that Charles, her guy best friend (and ex-boyfriend) is not more important than Frodo, even though he keeps popping up in her head. My friend needs help! Just kidding! Frodo!!!!!!!  
  
"How can you eat so much," Hypes asked Pippin the next morning.  
  
"Habit," Pippin answered, before returning to his meal. Alley glared in her direction, but it obviously didn't get the point across. Hypes continued to smile at the two.  
  
"Uh Hypes," Alley asked.  
  
"Oh, hi Alley, do you mind? I'm kinda talking here," Hypes told her.  
  
"Hypes, can I talk to you in private," Alley questioned.  
  
"Can't this wait," Hypes asked, "I'm eating. What is it again? Seventh breakfast?"  
  
"Hypes, this really can't wait," Alley replied.  
  
"All right, All right, what you want to tell me that's so important," Hypes said, "And could you hurry? I mean, I don't want to burst your bubble or anything, but I'm hungry."  
  
"Actually I was just going to suggest that..." Alley said, "You know, Merry's eating alone. Why don't you go keep him company?"  
  
"I think it's more comfortable here though," Hypes complained in a whiny voice.  
  
"Actually, I would prefer if you went and ate with Merry," Alley remarked, forcefully pushing her friend in his direction.  
  
"But..." Hypes paused, "Oh, okay. I'll go sit with boring Merry."  
  
"Thanks Hypes, have fun," Alley commented.  
  
On the other side of the clearing, Mandy was searching through the bushes for Frodo. He had mysteriously vanished when the girls had waken up.  
  
"Frodo! Frodo," Mandy called, "Where could my future husband be?" She suddenly heard some rustling in the bushes and went over to investigate, thinking that it was her her beloved (future) husband. Suddenly, as she grew closer to the bush, a giant, ugly, scar-faced, muddy-clawed orc popped out.  
  
She attempted to use her cheese fon-du on the orc, but was of course unsuccessful because the ancient art of cheese fon-du is nonexistent...or else it would have worked.  
  
Before she could blink, she felt herself being lifted into the air by the orc and was being carried away. What seemed that it came out of thin air, Frodo jumped up and cut the orc's head off with his beautiful but yet very light sword. Frodo then helped her out from under the fallen orc.  
  
"Wow, thank you," Mandy told him.  
  
"No problem, just don't smother me this time," he replied fearfully.  
  
"Is there any way that I can repay you," Mandy asked him, "For my gratitude?"  
  
"Just promise me that you won't try to kill me again," he answered, taking a small step away from her.  
  
"Why would I try to kill you," Mandy asked, "I'm in love with you. We'll be married someday and have two kids named Lrynmac and Syhto. And we'll have a little house in the Shire with a picket fence and we can have a little garden and a we can make it an underground mansion. And we could go on more adventures with our kids after we have them. We could write long books about all of our adventures..." Frodo let out a small whimper.  
  
"Actually, that's far enough right there," he told her.  
  
"Oh, but I'm not done yet," Mandy replied.  
  
"No really, I think we should be getting back anyway," Frodo said, whimpering once again.  
  
"Oh fine, we can finish discussing our plans for the future later," Mandy said reluctantly.  
  
After they returned to the camp, Mandy squealed, "Alley! Hypes! Come here quick!" The two girls reluctantly walked over, "Me and Frodo just had the greatest conversation ever! He asked me to marry him!" She paused, "Well, I mean, soon enough he will."  
  
"What do you mean? What did he say," Alley asked.  
  
"Well first of all, he saved my life," Mandy exclaimed, "Secondly, I love him."  
  
"Duh Mandy, we're all in love with Frodo," Hypes told her, "Except for Alley, she loves Pippin now. Traitor! Stupid hobbitses...wait, I am a hobbit. I hate myself?"  
  
"Before I was so rudely interrupted," Mandy continued, "I was saying that after he saved my life, he asked me not to choke him anymore. Isn't that romantic?"  
  
"Yeah Mandy, sure it is," Alley said sarcastically, "And plus, Hypes shouldn't be saying that I love Pippin when she loves Merry."  
  
"I do not love Merry," Hype shouted, "You made me eat with him!"  
  
"Guys help me out, I really want to get with Frodo," Mandy begged.  
  
"All right Mandy, here's the plan," Alley said. 


	4. Chapter 4

The three girls were working everything out. Frodo eyed them warily as he passed. All three gazed his way as he continued on. A collective sigh came from their spots, before Mandy reminded them what they were doing.

"I have to marry him," she commented, "I mean, look at him. He's cute, nice, and a bit paranoid. But I can fix that."

"Mandy, we want to get you and Frodo together," Alley told her, "Not scar him for life."

"I would never do that," Mandy exclaimed, astonished that her friend would say that, "I love Frodo and soon enough, he'll love me too."

"More like run away screaming," Alley said in a whisper to Hypes.

"There's a great evil here," Hypes spoke up suddenly, "I can feel it."

Bushes a few feet away parted and a familiar blonde elf walked out. Looks of love from the girls quickly turned into glares.

"I thought I got rid of him," Alley remarked.

"May I ask why you left me out there," Legolas asked her. His outfit was covered in grass stains and dirt. Leaves were lodged into his hair, more resembling a nest than hair at the moment.

"That was you," Alley feigned surprise, "I thought you were an orc."

"I knew there had to be a good reason," Legolas replied, "Why else would you attack someone so perfect? How do I look?"

"Orc," Hypes yelled out suddenly. The three girls tackled Legolas to the ground, punching and kicking him.

After a few moments, Aragorn and Gimli ran over and pulled them off the elf. It took Sam, Pippin and Merry to hold Alley back. Frodo would have helped, but he was too afraid of the girls to touch them.

After all the commotion had died down, Gimli suddenly let out a freakishly girly scream when Hypes pulled on his beard, resulting in him dropping her to the ground.

"I told you they were evil," Legolas commented.

"I think you're the one that's evil," Hypes shouted at him, "You're the one that stole all the fans from Frodo!"

"I have fans," Legolas asked, "Well, of course I do. I am Legolas after all."

"But you're ugly," Mandy yelled out.

As Frodo heard the girls tormenting Legolas about stealing his fans, he gave but the slightest grins.

"Awww, he grinned," the girls chanted together, forgetting all about the ugly, blonde elf. Suddenly Frodo went full out sobbing at the mere thought of girls just like them following him around...and then tackling him when they get the chance.

"No, Frodo's crying," Mandy shouted, pointing in his direction, "Quick girls, get in your comfort mode!" Suddenly all three girls ran towards Frodo, as he was whimpering on the ground.

"It's okay Frodo. I wanna cookie too," Hypes told him.

"Yeah don't worry Frodo. We'll beat Legolas up some more for you," Alley commented.

"Yeah and we'll make sure we beat him up real good," Mandy said, agreeing with Alley.

"I miss all those chocolate chips," Hypes whined.

"And I'll give him a busted lip for you," Alley said.

"And...and...uh...I'll pay for half the wedding," Mandy chants. At that Frodo went into full out screaming and jumped out of the girls' arms and ran to the protection of his friends.

The rest of the fellowship stood stunned at what they were watching and only begged that nothing like that ever happened to them...except for Legolas, who was begging that it would happen to him.

Hypes suddenly turned to Legolas, "What did you do to Frodo to bring the waterworks?"

Legolas tilted his head like a lost puppy and said, "Waterworks? What's that?"

"But then again, you wouldn't know, would you," Hypes stated smugly.

"It's crying doofus," Alley pointed out, "You know, what you were doing earlier when I beat the living snot out of you?!"

Aragorn suddenly stepped in, as if to reason with them, "Why do you girls torment Legolas so?"

"Why do you think King Aragorn," Hypes said as the three girls kneeled on one knee.

"What do you mean king," Aragorn stated confusingly, "I am no king."

"Aw, but one day you shall be," Mandy offered mystically. The three girls stood up and started waving their arms as if placing a spell.

"What are you trying to do to him," Legolas shouted.

"Shut up you or I'll place an ugly curse on thee," Alley warned him.

"No, not my face," Legolas girlishly screamed as he curled up into a little ball on the ground.

"When did Legolas the elf abandon reason for madness," Gandalf said.

"They're trying to torture my face though," Legolas sobbed.

Sam whispers to Legolas, "Don't let them know you're afraid sir, I think they're feeding off your fear." The girls stopped their chant and turned to Sam and Legolas.

"Sam, what are you telling Legolas," Mandy stated in a calm and suspenseful voice.

Sam's eyes grew huge in fear as he stated, "Nothing ma'am. I would never say anything to Legolas knowing you hate him so much."

Merry and Pippin ran up to stand in front of Sam, "If you're to torture them, then you have to torture us also."

"Merry, Pippin. You know, that could be arranged," Alley told them.

"Yeah, we'll take your cookies away also," Hypes said.

"Either that, or you could have your faces tortured along with Legolas," Mandy warned them.

"That's exactly why we're not standing in the way of your torturement of them," Merry and Pippin chanted together.

Meanwhile, Gandalf stepped in, "You shall reek no habit on my young friends."

"Gandalf, please. Can't you see that we're from the future and we know magic far beyond your kind," the girls stated in unison.

"The powers of the great cheese fondu. The great gods of all the great cookies," Hypes said, "Aid and join me, tearing out Legolas' fair blonde hair and giving him strange scars over his face."

Suddenly Legolas jumped up and started running around in circles, clenching his face and screaming, "Not my face!"

"Legolas, please stay calm," Boromir told him, "Did you not notice the young hobbit saying 'cookies' in her spell?"

"They also said 'cheese fondu'," Frodo said between great sobs.

Alley suddenly hit Hypes, "Thanks a lot, now they know we're not magical."

Aragorn suddenly walked out of nowhere and placed a hand on Alley's shoulder, turned to Legolas and said, "Legolas, take your hands off your face."

"No, you can't see the hideous being I've turned into," Legolas shouted. Aragorn started laughing, along with Boromir, Gandalf, Gimli, the hobbits except Frodo, and Hypes, for some strange reason.

Legolas, in his great tears, started screaming, "No, don't laugh at me. I was once beautiful!"

Aragorn said, "Legolas, we're not laughing at you. We're laughing at the fact that the girls could trick you so easily."

"What do you mean," Legolas overdramaticly sobbed.

"He means they know no magic," Gimli told him.

Legolas suddenly stopped running around in circles, "You mean I'm still beautiful?"

The girls screamed together, "No, someone as ugly as you is never beautiful." They started marching around the campsite, yelling, "Long live Frodo!" Frodo's sob increased about ten times as he tried to hide behind Aragorn. Unfortunately, before Frodo could get halfway there, the girls started screaming, grabbed Frodo and ran off with him.

At this, Sam started running after them, screaming continuously, "Where are you taking Mr. Frodo?"

"We're taking him to have his mind cleared," Alley yelled.

"Yeah and so we can go find some cookies," Hypes cried.

"If you follow us, we'll torture him, worse than you could have ever imagined," Alley and Mandy yelled together. As the three girls ran off into the woods, Merry and Pippin ran over to each other.

"Can you believe that I used to like Hypes," Merry exclaimed.

"Well, I can believe that, but I can't believe I used to like Alley," Pippin told him.

"Well, I don't know, Hypes is really interesting in her own way," Merry stated, "She shares the same passion for food as I do."

"Aye, and Alley seems to be the brains of the whole group," Pippin said.

"Well, I hope they come back before supper," Merry said.

"Or at least dinner," Pippin stated as they watched the girls run off into the distance, and Sam still running and screaming after them.


	5. Into the Woods

"Sam fell behind, he'll never catch us," Hypes laughed.

"What do you mean, he'll never catch us," Frodo asked her in fear.

One by one, the three girls turned to look at him, "We mean he'll never catch us."

"Never," Frodo questioned with horror.

The girls didn't answer, but picked Frodo up higher over their heads as they ventured deeper into the forest. As they ran, Hypes started to chant. Alley and Mandy soon joined in on the frightening song. Frodo whimpered at each lines' end.

Although Sam chased us into the woods 

_And ran as fast as his little feet could_

_He did not try with all his might_

_So now we run further out of sight_

The three girls ran until they reached a small clearing. Mandy and Hypes set Frodo down and held him as Alley ran to find vines to tie him with. She returned shortly.

"This hurts me more than it hurts you Frodo," Mandy cried as she tied his hands together.

"Are you sure about that," he asked with a tremble in his voice.

"Of course," Mandy told him, "You know, now that you're here, I think we should discuss our wedding and plans for the future."

"Like what," Frodo stuttered out.

"Like I thought that we should have an outdoor wedding. Oh, and how many kids do you want? I thought we would start with 13 and as many as 40 or so. What do you think?"

Before Frodo could reply, or rather scream in terror, a rustling sound was heard. A voice then drifted out from the surrounding trees.

"Hold on little forest creatures, my beautiful blonde hair and I will save you!" Legolas emerged from the forest, but stopped upon seeing the girls, "What have you done to the creatures?"

"Creatures," Alley asked, "What creatures?"

"I heard a horrible screeching sound coming from this area," Legolas replied, "I thought it was some poor little dying creature."

"Girls," Alley stated, "I think he's dissing our singing."

"Get him," Mandy yelled as hearing this. Legolas turned as if to run, but was stopped as Alley tackled him to the ground. She quickly twisted his arms behind his back.

"Hypes, get me some more vines," Alley yelled. Hypes ran off and came back, arms loaded with vines.

"Will this be enough," she asked. Alley grinned and nodded. She bound Legolas' hands and feet.

"So, now that that distraction is taken care of, let's talk about baby names," Mandy continued where her and Frodo's conversation had left off. Frodo whimpered once more at hearing this.

Meanwhile, Hypes was busy examining her cloak. She paused as she found some items and turned to Alley, "What am I supposed to do with these?" She pulled scissors, an electric razor, and every kind of makeup imaginable from a hidden pocket.

Alley picked up the scissors and razors and glanced at Legolas with a smirk, "I have an idea."

"What are those cursed objects," Legolas questioned.

"Hypes what do you think," Alley asked, "Mohawk or almost completely bald?"

"Mohawk," Mandy screamed out suddenly.

Within minutes a single strip of blonde hair adorned the middle of Legolas' head. His eyes opened as the sound of the razor stopped, "Is it over?"

"Hey, look what I found," Hypes yelled out again. A handful of red bows were pulled out of a pocket.

"No, those don't go with my complexion," Legolas yelled as they started applying them to his hair.

A few minutes later, Legolas horror was finally over, or at least he thought. A mixture of red and yellow eye shadow caked his eyelids. Thick black mascara coated his eyelashes. Dark pink blush decorated his cheeks and bright pink lipstick made the rest of his new look.

"Girls, what else can we do," Alley asked. She studied Legolas over, trying to think of another torture device.

"You know, he does kinda look like a girl now," Mandy stated, "So, what else do girls do to look pretty?"

"Shave their legs," Alley declared, turning to look at Legolas with an evil grin, "Hypes, do you happen to have any shaving cream or something in there?" Hypes did a quick search of her cloak and soon found a can of shaving gel. Even better was that the gel was scented.

"Need any help," Mandy asked.

"Come and hold him down," Alley ordered, "Someone roll up his pant legs."

"Ewww, I don't want to touch his disgusting, hairy elf legs," Hypes exclaimed.

"You don't have to," Alley told her, "I want to do the torture myself. I just don't want him to get away."

"Oh, ok," Hypes reluctantly agreed. Legolas suddenly started to thrash around, trying to get away, "He won't be still!"

"No, anything but that," Legolas yelled. Mandy immediately helped to hold him still and Hypes slowly got the pant leg up. The three stared in horror, but for only a moment.

Their horror dissolved into laughter. Legolas looked like he was about to die of embarrassment.

"You…you…shave your legs," Mandy managed to ask, "But you're a guy."

"Yes, but elves are supposed to be perfect," Legolas argued, "How can I be perfect with hairy legs?"

"Nobody sees them anyway," Alley told him.

More rustling sounded a few yards away. The girls stopped their giggling and looked at each other.

"We should get out of here," Mandy said. The other girls nodded in agreement.

"But first, let's leave them a surprise," Alley suggested.

Within moments, Legolas was hanging upside-down from a tree branch, pant legs rolled up to show off his deep, dark secret. They wrote a short note on a bit of cloth, which was left in his mouth to keep him from giving away their position. The girls picked up Frodo again and were on their way.

Meanwhile, Sam rushed through the woods, still trying to find any sign of the three girls that had stolen Mr. Frodo. What greeted him when he ran into the clearing was not what he expected.

He yelled in surprise and turned to run when the girl, or whatever it was, tried to speak muffled words. Sam crept nearer to the thing and looked closely. He removed the cloth from it's mouth.

"Sam," Legolas exclaimed.

"Legolas," Sam asked, "What did this to you?"

"Those girls…" Legolas spoke. Sam's eyes went wide as he turned over the strip of cloth. It read 'The Great Legolas was too girly to handle three girls'.

Sam understood immediately and was about to ask where they went, when he reminded himself that he had to help Legolas first. He tried to undo the vines, but found that he couldn't. So…he cut the vine holding Legolas upside-down and started dragging him back to the camp.

Back at camp, Merry and Pippin were waiting, a bit impatiently, for any word from Aragorn, Boromir and Gandalf. The two hobbits looked at each other and at the huddle sitting nearby.

"Let us talk to them first," Pippin suddenly spoke up. Aragorn and Gandalf looked sternly at him.

"Yeah, let us," Merry agreed, "It's not like they're going to do anything to Frodo."

"And how do you know this," Boromir asked.

"Well, from the fact that they…" Pippin began.

"That they ran off with him into the woods and threatened to torture him if we followed," Aragorn asked sarcastically.

"Well, maybe we could help find them," Merry suggested, shrugging his shoulders.

"The woods are no place for a young hobbit," Gandalf told them.

"Speaking of hobbits, where is Sam," Aragorn asked.

"We haven't seen him since he ran off after the girls," Merry replied.

"Somebody! Help!" Sam's voice reached where they were sitting. Sam emerged from the surrounding trees, dragging a bound Legolas. Aragorn and Boromir rushed to his side.

"What happened," Aragorn asked.

"Those girls are evil," Sam proclaimed, "I found him hanging upside-down from a tree."

"No, don't look at me," Legolas whined, "I'm hideous."

"It'll probably come off," Pippin told Legolas, "Nothing to worry about."

"That's what you think," Legolas said as they cut the vines around his hands and feet. He immediately pulled down the pant legs, "They know my secret."

"It was never really a secret," Aragorn laughed, "We have witnessed you leaving in the early morning, thinking we did not see."

"You are not as quiet as you think you are elf," Gimli said.

"We followed you once," Merry stated, "We had nothin' better to do."

"Do you not get it, he saw the girls," Sam excitedly told them, "That means he can lead us to them!"

"No, don't make me," Legolas begged, "Who knows what else they could do to me!" His eyes widened as he thought of the inevitable torture that would occur. Legolas ran to the river nearby and began to splash his face, rubbing furiously at the makeup. Much to his dismay though, the mascara would not come off, "NO, not waterproof!"

"Then why not send Merry and Pippin with him," Gandalf asked, "I doubt that they can stand to sit around doing nothing for much longer."

"Let's go," Merry and Pippin shouted together. They jumped to their feet and began to pull Legolas forward. He resisted at first, but found that he could not for long. He knew that they would beg and plead until he agreed.

"You owe me," Legolas told the rest of the fellowship as he reluctantly allowed himself to be dragged into the woods.

Legolas soon stopped at the clearing where he had encountered the girls. He looked up to the sky and seemed to study them for a moment.

"The stars say that the girls headed to the next clearing, due east towards the mountains."

"Right," Merry and Pippin said together. Once Legolas was out of sight however, they headed in a different direction.

"I don't trust him," Merry said, "That gunk must have messed with his head." There was silence between them for a moment.

"I had that dream about her again," Pippin suddenly spoke up.

"Aye, I'm starting to miss them," Merry agreed.

"They are different from the other hobbits," Pippin said, "They do not seem afraid. Alley is quite the intelligent one."

"And Hypes is more free-spirited than most girls," Merry commented.

"Why do all the girls we like always seem to run away," Pippin asked, "Is there something wrong with us Merry?"

"Of course not," Merry replied, "After all, they do not like Legolas, correct?"

"No," Pippin answered, "But they ran off with Frodo, not us."

"They'll come to their senses eventually," Merry told him, "Now, what should we do if we find them?"

In another part of the forest, the three girls had set up a small camp. While Mandy watched over the area, Alley and Hypes set out to find some food. They sang their song as they ventured through the trees.

Although Sam chased us into the woods 

_And ran as fast as his little feet could_

_He did not try with all his might_

So now we run further out of sight 

"Do you think these are edible," Alley asked, picking a handful of berries. Hypes shrugged and continued to look for food nearby.

"What about these," Hypes questioned excitedly, holding up the objects she was talking about.

"Hypes, those are rocks," Alley told her, "Where those on the ground?"

"Yes, but I thought they looked a lot like blueberries," Hypes commented.

"I think you've been short for too long," Alley sighed, "The lack of caffeine probably has something to do with it as well."

The girls continued their song, desperately wanting something to do while they were picking berries and fruit.

Back with Merry and Pippin, the two hobbits stopped as they heard noises coming from ahead. The song drifted through the trees to their pointed ears.

"Are there angels in these woods," Merry asked, halting and causing Pippin to run into him.

"That, or there are more elves here," Pippin told him. They were silent for a moment, listening to the music. Then cautiously, they continued forward a few feet. Peering through the bushes, they witnessed Alley and Hypes walking around and observing various berries. The girls' mouths moved to the sound of the singing.

"So, they are the ones singing," Merry stated.

"It's so beautiful," Pippin sighed. Suddenly, the two girls turned to look at the hobbits.

"Merry," Pippin asked.

"Yeah," Merry replied.

"I think they can see us," Pippin told him.

"How did you find us," Alley questioned them.

"Easy, we just went in the other direction than Legolas told us," Pippin spoke with an air of confidence.

"What should we do Hypes," Alley whispered to her friend.

"How about we make a compromise," Merry asked. The two girls immediately became a bit suspicious, their eyes narrowing at the idea.

"What kind of compromise," Hypes questioned.

"If you come back to camp with us and tell them that we brought you back, we'll cook for you and be your servants," Merry said.

"We'll have to think about it," Alley told them, "Hypes! Huddle!" The two girls discussed the deal for a moment before turning back to Merry and Pippin. They approached quietly.

Suddenly, without warning, the girls grabbed the two hobbits and started running back to their camp.

"Oh, running off with us, huh," Merry asked.

"Although I thought it would be ponies riding off into the moonlight," Pippin started. Merry nodded in agreement.

"You shall be stuck with us forever," Alley told them as they ran.

"It's not so bad," Pippin said, turning to Merry, "They never said we had to be their servants."

Legolas returned back to the camp looking exhausted and terrified at the same time. The other quickly gathered around him.

"Legolas, what happened," Aragorn asked.

"I lost the hobbits," Legolas stated, "They just disappeared. I fear that the girls have captured them."

"How could you lose them," Sam questioned.

"I looked to the stars for guidance," Legolas told them, "And the next time I looked back, the hobbits were nowhere in sight."

"We will search for them," Aragorn said, "Legolas, search to the north. Gimli, go south. Gandalf, you and Sam will head west. I will go east."

"Frodo! Mr. Frodo!" Sam yelled out, running back into the woods. Gandalf ran, or rather speedily walked after him.

"Sam, slow down," Gandalf called out, "It's only been a few days, but hobbits still surprise me at how fast they can run when in search of something."

"Mr. Frodo!" echoed through the trees as Sam continued to run.


End file.
